Thursday, September 18, 2008

Adventures of a travelin’ girl…

Sometimes, I have a pretty sweet job. Or maybe it’s just a regular job with a few sweet perks every now and again. Either way, its days like this when I am happy to be in Corporate America playing the role of a successful, high powered business woman. Im not really all that successful and not the least bit a high powered business woman, but I play one on tv. Okay, so I don’t play one on tv either.

Back in the spring I was asked to co-present at a large conference in Chicago with one of the banking institutions that we do business with. Apparently I was such a smash hit (gag me!) that they asked if I would co-present the same presentation at a conference in Grand Rapids, MI. Okay, so you’re going to fly me to Grand Rapids, put me up in the Amway Grand, feed me, entertain me, make me stand in front of a hundred people for an hour, then send me on my way? Where do I sign?

Let me just say that I am NOT an experienced traveler. I don’t think I have been through a major airport since the 9-11 attacks. As a matter of fact, I stepped off of a plane the very morning those horrific things took place and haven’t been back since. I remember all the hype about increased security measures, shoe bombers, all that. But when I was preparing for my trip, I forgot to make myself familiar with the new airport guidelines. I checked myself in online, was all set and ready…so I thought. I didn’t check my bag, decided to carry it on with me so I wouldn't have to pay the ridiculous fee that the airports are charging these days. Mistake! Thank God I was at the airport at a non-busy time because otherwise, I would have been mortified. As Im standing there…shoeless…how can anyone be comfortable in an airport security line without any shoes on? Anyway, Im watching them scan my computer, my bag, my purse, then…my suitcase. They might as well have started blowing sirens or something. The lady indicated that there was a problem and they would need to search my bag. Omg. Right there, for everyone to see, are the contents of my suitcase. Thank goodness I packed my cute undies right? Someone forgot to remind me that big bottles of anything liquid are NOT allowed on a plane. For crying out loud, what am I going to do with a bottle of Dove hairspray? Its Dove! A symbol of peace! How harmful can a half empty can of hairspray be? Fine, take it. Oh, and this Clean and Clear facial soap…fine, you can have that too. And the lotion. And my toothpaste. They picked up my bottle of Channel perfume and I about went postal on them…oh, but it was okay. Wshew! I then got a brief lesson from the should-be retired security officer as to what’s allowable and what’s not. And then he gave me a Ziploc bag to put all the allowable stuff in. Him handing me that plastic bag was like being handed that little plastic cup at the doctor’s office. Here, fill this up!

Alright, so Im finally through security and waiting at the gate with plenty of time to spare (which for me is a small miracle in and of itself). Im boarding the plane just like everyone else, and as I give my ticket to the ticket-taker-guy, he slightly glances up at me and says in a tone that is barely audible, ‘thank you Supermodel Miller.’ Lol!! I chuckled, said thank you, walked away, then rolled my eyes. Where was he when they were searching my private belongings?! I should have corrected him and stated that today I am not a supermodel; I am a high powered business woman. I’m only a supermodel on the weekends.

3 comments:

Kristal said...

You crack me up! Where have you been girl - we haven't been able to take liquids over 3 oz on the plane for years! Oh yeah, I forgot... school was taking over our lives back then...

Miss you! Hope you are well :)

PaintinfarmMom said...

OMG ! I really can not believe you didnt know about little amounts of liquids. Guess I should have opened my" Momma mouth, even tho you are a woman of the world"! See what happens when Momma dont butt in? At least you made it back and forth safely!

Carol said...

Heh heh, you're too funny! The story you described would probably have been me - if I ever flew anywhere. I've only flown once, so who pays attention to all the new rules anyway unless you're a frequent flyer? I hope it was a pleasant trip once you got out of the airport! :)